Right Now

Observations:

1. I think it's hilarious to walk around in my Renaissance Faire clothes while talking on my Bluetooth.

2. I saw Sex and the City the other day. It was wonderful, like a sparkly punch in the gut followed by cocktails and a hug from your best female friend. More than the emotional taffy pull with our beloved characters, I was shocked by how this movie made me crave beauty again. I get along most days quietly noting real Tiffany's from fake, culling out the imposter handbags from the genuine article. I wear approximations of good perfume purchased on the cheap at the drug store down the street. I've been unemployed and broke for a while and I had forgotten how much fun it is to really clean up and feel shiny and new. It was a very girly moment I had with Jennifer Hudson on that screen. (Skinny smoker Carrie I ain't.) She was curvy and self-posessed and lovely and knew what she was worth to the last penny and pound.

3. It costs nothing to dream, but it costs damn near everything not to.

4. I was reading "The Girl with No Shadow" by Joanne Harris at the Barnes and Noble the other day. It's $25 in hardback and they have comfortable chairs; do the math. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and after a half hour and the first 100 pages we had to leave. Throughout the rest of the day, I had that sudden, jarring feeling that I had forgotten something important like my cell phone or my wallet... or a small child. I so loathe separation from a new book I'm reading. Ask my lovely mother-in-law; she's seen me brave car sickness to tear through Diablo Cody's memoirs on the dusty back roads of Temecula. I am insatiable until that last page is turned.

5. Tomorrow I meet the widow of my husbands best, favorite, most influential seminary teacher. So many occasions when I don't know what to say. (Maybe it's a sign of weakness when I don't know what to say. Maybe I just wouldn't know what to do with my strength, anyway.)

6. John is a dream, the gentlest part of my dreaming. The only one that doesn't fade in the face of reality. Ever mine. Ever thine. Ever ours.

7. Cars are so complicated. Gods bless everyone who understands them- particularly the intrepid souls who have given us advice this week. We have a carburetor! Who knew?

8. I can't find a new diary anywhere. They've stopped my making mine. I'm at a loss when the intertubes fail me... (YOU SHOULD ALL BE KEEPING DIARIES. Yeah, I went there. I used all caps. That's how important it is. Ask me why sometime.)

9. Forget about summer in the desert. By the time you realize it's over 110, the numbers mean nothing. It's like asking what circle of hell you're in. It's so over by noon.

10. Water. My gods, water. Get dehydrated once. I dare you. It will change your consciousness.